OK, that was embarrassing to even write. Not the Sam Heughan part of course, he’s perfect. It is the other part that makes me cringe, and want to immediately change the title. Yet, if I did that, then why even write this piece? A dilemma to be sure, but what is a bit of embarrassment, huh, in the pursuit of a small personal truth? So, here goes, and by the way if you were hoping for a Sam exposé of some sort you can stop reading now.
This piece is about me, the 60 year old fan girl.
There have been others you know, before Sam; Russell Crowe was a big one ( at least up to the time he threw a phone at some poor desk clerk), and Mel Gibson ( before he went batshit crazy ) for another. So this is not a new experience, this dark theater kind of adoration, but it is strangely different and I have to blame JAMMF (James. Alexander. Malcolm. MacKenzie. Frazier. ) for that. You see, for all that Sam is a beautiful and extremely talented man, swoon worthy is his own right to be sure, he has become the face and voice of Jamie Frazier who IS the world’s MOST perfect man. This is were it gets all confused and demented, because it is the older Jamie that I dote on, you know the ‘Fiery Cross’ Jamie. So, while Sam is Jamie, I keep waiting for poor Sam to mature into the Jamie I long to see. Do you see? Now here is the strangest part of this whole business; my complete and utter lack of Sam lust. Do not roll your eyes, 60 year old women love sex and lust after others, it is a fact. But as beautiful and alluring as Sam is, it is his Jamie that draws my attention, not his Sam-ness. So I look at Sam, see a future Jamie and then get all heart fluttery and distracted. It is nuts!
So, in admitting that I lust for Jamie ( crazy in and of itself I know ) who now and forever will look like Sam Heughan, I am also admitting that I am indeed a 60 year old Sam Heughan fan girl (woman damn it!!! ) fuck the embarrassment, I’ll get over it. Oh and Sam, if you ever read this, when we get to the ‘Fiery Cross’ Jamie…… I might have to revise my position on the whole lust thing, just a heads up.